Post-Partum Depression, or the pressure to be a “picture
perfect mommy?”
As a
new mom, this is a topic I hold dear to my heart. We have all heard about the
dreaded Post-Partum Depression, however, there is often little discussion about
the post-partum period. This is identified as 1 year post birth. As stated in
my headline, we live is a society that often expects perfection in an imperfect
world. Mothers are expected to birth their babies, and then within 6-12 weeks
have a bikini perfect body, a child on an ideal schedule, and be back at work
without missing a beat.
However,
this is not the reality for most new moms. Let’s start by talking about the
pressure of reclaiming your body. I can’t count how many times I have been
told, “Don’t worry your body will bounce back in no time,” “Don’t worry you
will be in a bikini in a month or two.” “You will lose all your baby weight in
9 months, I mean that is how long it took you to put it on.” We know people say
these things out of pure encouragement, but that is a lot of pressure on a new
mom. I often want to say, “What if I don’t?” Don’t get me wrong, like tons of
women, I want that pre-pregnancy body back ASAP. However, here is the truth, I
don’t sleep, I am often too exhausted to work out on a regular schedule, I
often chose to sleep rather than eat, and there are some days I drink coffee
just to function! I want to take a moment and say to all the moms out there,
“You look great!” “You just made a human! You cannot get any more impressive
that that!” and most of all “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL in the body you are in!”
Although society may never reach the realistic expectations for post-partum
bodies, we must learn to love yourself, and love our post-partum bodies. Here
are some helpful tools to help boost your self-esteem during this stressful
time!
- Take time to Shower and Get Dressed in the MORNING- This is a tough one for a lot of moms, single moms and even moms with support. Take 15 minutes out of your day to shower, and get dressed in the morning. I often put my daughter in her bouncy seat and just bring her in the bathroom with me. This keeps her calm, and gives me a chance to take care of myself. This will help you not only prepare for your day, but to feel more “put together.” You will feel more accomplished and ready to face the day!
- Engage in Positive Self Talk- Look in a mirror, and state 3 positive things OUTLOUD about your body each day. This one takes practice. I always tell individuals that at first this feels, weird and uncomfortable. I also tell individuals it is not important if you believe these statements or not. Self-Esteem is actually developed by reflection. If you are constantly reflecting, “I look Gross, I wish I was smaller, I look rough,” you self-esteem will suffer. Engaging in positive self-talk OUTLOUD, will not only enhance self-esteem, but eventually replace the negative beliefs you have about your body.
- Wear Clothes that make you feel pretty- As a new mom, it is easy to get wrapped into missing your old clothes, or hating how your old clothes now fit. Buy clothes that make you feel good. This will boost your self-confidence, and allow you to skip the 30 minutes of changing in front of a mirror because you don’t feel good in your pre-pregnancy clothes.
- Set Realistic Goals- As a new mom, you should make time to exercise. This will not only improve your health, but make you feel better about yourself. It will take time for your body to re-adjust to exercise. Set a Realistic Goal! If you haven’t ran in 9 months, don’t set a goal to run a marathon in a month! Start small, for example, a goal to get 20 minutes of exercise twice a week was the starting point I chose.
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