Post-Partum Series 3: Mommy Guilt

The next issue I want to discuss is “Mommy Guilt.” New moms often feel guilty for wanting to do things alone. This can include wanting to go back to work, or even go out with friends. Society often adds to this pressure. Many individuals believe that, “good mommies are with their babies 24/5.” This places unrealistic pressure of a new mom. This guilt can cause many new moms to feel pressured to stay at home, and even disengage from having a social life. This can have devastating effects on a new mom mentally, and physically. It can also foster feelings of resentment towards being a mom. What can you do about mommy guilt?

1. Know the Myths- Many researchers have found that the quantity of time you spend with your babies has little effect on attachment. The importance is on the quality of time you spend with your baby. Many moms often worry that working will affect the bond between them and baby. However, research tells us that is not the case. If you are happy, you are much more likely to be mentally able to care for your child.
2. Go out Anyway- It is okay to feel guilty. The truth about feelings, is they do not last forever. It is important for you mentally to be around other adults. Humans are social beings.  If you challenge these feelings early on, by allowing yourself to still engage socially, the guilt will slowly diminish
3. Leave your baby with someone they trust. If you have a baby sitter in mind, be sure to give your baby time to get to know them. This may mean, spending time with the babysitter while you are home. If you know your child will be well taken care of, and confrontable with their sitter, you will be more confrontable at work, or out with friends.
4. Join a Mom Group- This can be don online, or locally. This will help you normalize your feelings, as well as, allow you to have adult time. In many cases, knowing you are not alone, is enough to relieve negative feelings. Also many local moms groups facilitate play dates. Play dates are a great way to socialize you and your baby.
5. Spend Quality Time with Baby Once you return home. This will not only facilitate bonding, but allow you to catch up on anything you missed while away.

I could go on forever, about the difficulties of our post-partum feelings. Please feel free to ask direct questions if you have any.